It's been like a month since I've talked to him. There's something going on with this family that they're not telling me about and honestly, it's driving me crazy. It seems like everything is sending me over the wall. I hate the people who I see here at york. I think I've seen her. I don't want to see her. But I think I have. I guess I can sit here and hope that it wasn't her? She's just a reminder of what I don't and can't have. I hate my classes, I hate my profs, I hate my T.A's and I hate this school. I can't bring myself to like or enjoy. I know way too many people here. I just wanna get out and move far away to a place where I don't know anyone. I should have just applied to some school in Vancouver. You know your life is pathetic when you count down the days for a T.V show to start a new season. I thought I could handle all these breaks and long hours are york. But the truth is, it's whats killing me. I have way too much time to think about things. I just sit here and think about him. I tried to not think about him and focus my attention on other things. But what else is there to think about? My education? heh. That's just a bloody joke. I don't know what I'm suppose to be learning or what the point of learning it is. All I know is that I hate this atmosphere. Its too big, too rushed, too crowded. I hate having to watch to make sure I don't walk into anyone every time I turn a corner. I hate walking from building to building just to get to a class that I know will bore the crap outta me.
Another Tamil kid got killed at Churchill yesterday. Typical. Do I feel sorry for him? No. I can't. I don't know the guy, but I can tell that he was a moron and got caught up in the wrong crowd. Good. This is why I don't blame the government for not properly funding public schools. What's the point? There will always be those outside gangs and the inside wannabes. There's no escaping from the loser thug nuggets. So why even bother preaching to them.
What else is there? I should start reading the crap that I need to for my classes. But whats the point? This place is driving me insane. I just want to go home, crawl in my bed and never get out.