Stop over feeding your kids and leave the cookie monster alone.

Perhaps I'm late on the shenanigans that angry, emotionally unstable mothers have been spewing with the media, but like my period, it's better late than never. Let's face it, at one point or another we've all blamed the media once for something like anorexia, low-self esteem, "why isn't my body like Shakira's" blah blah blah blah. The media is Satan for young girls and boys every where isn't it?

But what about those of us who've never stuck our finger down our throat? Our cut pictures of our head out and stuck them onto Paris Hiltons body. I can't speak for all, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with how you're raised. Smart parents teach you not to buy into this crap. Smart parents realize that the last thing we need on this Earth are clones of Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears.

But then there are the parents who are just too lazy to be parental. Their there ones that can't stand their bitchy ass whiny kid crying and give in by buying him a big mac combo. Or the ones who don't take the time so sit down and talk about the birds and the bees....then they find out their 13 year old daughter is knocked up.

I would love nothing more than to sit here and rant about the future strippers of tomorrow, but I'm going to stick to childhood obesity.

They let their child live on a diet of nothing but junk food consisting of starch, sugar, fast food and pop. Then they some how manage to find the audacity to blame the cookie monster for their kid being a total fat ass. The cookie monster can eat as much broccoli as his little puppet mouth can handle, but at the end of the day, the damn child is still going to know the cookie tastes better.

Point: He's a puppet.

Anyways. Most parents tend to pack their fridge with endless amount of artery killing crap. They do this because the cookie monster goes grocery shopping with them, holds a gun to their head, and then forces them to buy the jumbo pack of Oreo's.

For your sake, I hope you caught onto the sarcasm.

Here's an idea, they should tell their kids how to get to sesame street, then make them WALK there. Television can only do so much for you. Yes, it can alter their programming to encourage healthy eating and living, but until further technological advancements take place, they won't be able to spoon feed kids through the screen.

But hey, blaming a furry blue monster for cutting their child's live short by a few decades sounds a lot better than blaming themselves right?


I'm unemployed and trying to score a job on the Dr. Phil show. Give me a break.

It took me a while..

But I think I'm finally able to put him into words. A lot of you, most of you....hell...all of you who I've talked about this told me I wasn't in love. It was just infatuation. In a way, you were right. It was infatuation rather than falling in love. However, at one point I was in love.

Before you criticize me and lecture me about my own feelings. Hear me out.

Him. His physically being. Him sitting here. His looks, his smile and his scent. That's where I'm guilty of being infatuated. He gave me those warm bubbly feelings and he made me smile and do those stupid little things like walk into doors (literally). And I liked that feeling.

But I wasn't in love with him. I was in love with the idea of being in love with him. I know that doesn't make much sense to most of you, but it makes perfect sense to me.

All of you told me that he was no good for me. That I could do better, and that I deserve better. And I thought, 'who the hell are all of you to judge a guy you don't even know'? I wanted all of you too see what I saw in him. I wanted you to see what I was in love with.

The problem with that was everything I was in love with...was make believe. I had no idea who he was or who he is now. I was looking so hard to find someone that I could trust and look up too and be all the things that I needed and wanted, that somewhere in my mind I was able to convince myself that he was all that. I thought he was good for me, I thought that he was what I deserved. He wasn't. Everything I saw in him were just the illusions of my imaginations and my need of something to belong to me.

When I finally decided to let him go, all I wanted to do was to write it out. I wanted to put him into words on a piece of paper. I couldn't, and I didn't know why. I was so frustrated because I had all these feelings towards him, yet I couldn't write them down.

Even now there are moments when I feel as though I still have something for him, and it's hard to remind myself that he's not the person I wanted him to be. I still feel anger and bitterness towards him, yet sometimes all I want is to belong to his world...which in time I hope will go away. Maybe I do have some reasons to think he's a jerk. But I don't have any reasons to hate him. After all, I was just using him to fill a gap in my own life. I used him because I felt I needed a replacement for those who I've lost in my life that meant a lot to me. I made him out to be my savior, when in reality, he had no clue what was going on. Maybe there are things in his life that I want. I don't know yet, but I have time to figure it out.

My emotions are still running wild at times. I've learned to move on from friendships that I've lost, because some how I've learned that if someone ever really cared about you, they will always care about you, and although you may not talk to them or see them or consider them a friend, they'll still be there for you. I think I know that because so much time has gone by, things were left unsaid, and will probably never be said. He may not be my friend anymore, but I still care about him, and if he needs me, I there. Vice-versa.

I've fallen down and I've dealt with a lot of pain. For the first time in a long time, I think I'm finally able to stand up. And at least I can say I stood on my own.

“Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.” Winston Churchill

Is there anything bigger than Octo-moms Vagina?

I'm not sure, but I'm guessing it could be the mouth of Kanye West.

When is he ever not talking? Or as I like to see it; When is he ever not trying to suck his own dick? I get it, this man is a musical genius.

Actually, no, I don't get it. 5 years of my life were devoted strictly to the Backstreet Boys, so I'm not qualified to spot out a musical genius. But according to my surrounding public, the man is a genius.

Well according to Kanye, not only is he a musical genius, but he's the best that there is...the very definition of greatness, he is also the vessel for God.

He said:
“God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God’s vessel...But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live" (http://news.softpedia.com/news/I-Want-to-See-Myself-Perform-Live-Kanye-West-Says-106010.shtml).

Thankfully I sold my soul to the devil for a 9th season of Smallville and I'm going to hell. Because there is no way I'd be able to put up with him and his mohawk for all eternity in heaven.

Don't get me wrong, I found the whole thing about "George Bush does not like black people" to be very amusing and witty of him. But he probably should have just stopped there. At this point I think he's just an older Jonas Brother with less hair and nothing brilliant to talk about.

I heard 50 cent is moulding a vibrator out of his penis. He should stick a few of them in Kanye's mouth, maybe that will help to solve this problem, or at least keep him busy so that we can all achieve some temporary peace. Kanye, I would love to let you be great. You know? Just let you be great. But that would require you keeping your mouth shut when your not "dropping lines" or what ever the hell they call rapping nowadays.

As for Nadya Suleman, I think think they should stick Miley Cyrus and the cast of High School Musical up her pussy. There's room and it will better society.