Bleh

This is going to be one those blogs where I have nothing to blog about but I'll pretend that I do when really all I'm doing is ranting about random stupid shit that magically pops into my head as I sit here and bang away at my keyboard. But wait? Isn't that what a blog is for? I think I found the light.
This is why I love blogging, it's like a normal form of talking to yourself. You can't talk on the train or the bus, because the people beside you would be like "damn, what's she smoking? how many times did her parents drop her on the head". Heh. If only they knew. Omgravy! I'm soo totally in love with the O.C now! Not as in love like Smallville in love, but in love. It's such a cute show...Ben McKenzie.. RAWR!! And I've come to a conclusion about my hair... I'm dying over it! The orangeness is making me sick. I look like a Christmas tree topping. Which reminds me, Christmas is OVER!!! WOOHOO!!!! No more bright lights and nasty tree's at the malls... well not until next year. This was a painful Xmas, long and boring and dreadful, but what's even worse... the thought of going back to York. I have to do the stupid group project with those stupid bitchy white bitches who I hate, and I might have to take the ttc! EW!
I don't know why I bother to lie to myself anymore. I really don't. I keep telling myself that I'll catch up on my reading during the break or try and figure out what I'm doing with my life, but I never do. I just sit here and blog. Hah. I miss Smallville so much! I just sit here and wonder what will happen next. Yes yes, I know I said Tom Welling needs a break...BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. My poor baby, I was watching this backstage pass thing on youtube about Smallville, there's like 10 days of filming...and Tom needs to be there 9/10 of them! The other cast members are only there for like 4-5/10. He's a hard working man. And a damn good looking one too. *sigh*


Whoop whoop!! No ti na de mikkle!

If only...

I had it in me to say what I want to say to him. Ahhh.
"It's an extra dividend when you like the girl you're in love with."-- Clark Gable
It should be me. Wouldn't that be perfect? If it were me and him? Oh I think it'd be awesome. I can work up the courage to speak my mind about a million things. Yet when it comes to this, I have no back bone, and no voice. Even in my deepest drunkest something keeps holding me back from screaming out the three words that I've been keeping to myself for the longest while. This is what happens when you fall too hard and too fast. I've gotten myself into this huge emotional mess, and I don't know how to get myself out!!!

Christmas? A waste!!! I could blog and rant more, but it's 2:30 am and I'm tired. Quite possibly boxing day shopping in the morning. Maybe I'll come back and edit this tonight. Maybeeeee.
December 27, 2007
I had time to reflect. But I didn't. I'm just as confused and messed up as I was yesterday. However, I did determine that I'm NEVER going out on boxing day again. Waste of time!

Tropicana

Jumping, Jumping, HIGHER!!! Umm. EW!!!! What the hell is this? EW!!!! Merry Xmas Y'all!!! Ugh this is the wonderful art work that resulted from my family once again bringing down my self esteem. Yes I know my emo styled hair was far from perfect, but I liked it. It was one of the few things that I liked about myself. But no, they had to bring that to the ditch and leave me with orange fucking hair. *sigh* I did this for them, to make them happy, and yet they'll still criticize it!! I can't even look at myself anymore. It's sickening! ORANGE!!!!

Applesauce

"Sanity is madness put to good uses." George Santayana

In my eyes, the world is literally on fire. Now would be a good time for the Justice League to kick into action. Now for a short moment of pondering, what shall I bitch about first? The Smallville break, the death of a 16 year old girl by the hand of her own ‘father’, the holidays, or York? This is what happens when you don’t blog for over 2 months, all your ideas and feelings get lost or misguided and when you sit down to write it all out weeks later, you don’t know where to start or what to talk about.

First, my apologies to myself for not letting out my insanity by writing here when I needed to.

I guess I’ll begin with the death of the 16 year old. So her ‘father’ allegedly killed her because of her choice not to wear the hijab. What do I know about Islam? Nothing, I haven’t read the Qur’an and I don’t plan to. So why is it that I’m so scared of something that I know nothing about? For one, I think it’s because I fear that this religion may one day take over the world. Thank goodness I have a room reserved in Hell for me. Secondly, I’ve only heard bad things about this religion. People who I’ve attempted to reason with over it…are not willing to reason back. Islam is simply right to them. Maybe I can’t see their support because I don’t believe in religion myself? But after a death over something that is supposed to be optional, how else am I suppose to feel. I’m not saying that I think their religion has it written in blood that women need to confirm to this. Rather, I see this as a situation of extremist. Her ‘father’ believed too deeply that she should wear the hijab, he took it too deeply that women need to hide their faces. Some may argue that this has nothing to do with religion, but it does. Religion may not be the blame, but of course it played a role. I place the title father in quotations because I believe it’s a title he doesn’t deserve. Fathers don’t kill their child. A child should not have to live in fear of their Father. A father loves and protects their child. He supports them and guides them in the right direction. What ever this girl was doing, she did not deserve to have her life taken away. There are many ways to deal with teenagers, placing your hands around their neck isn’t the right way. Looking on facebook, I’ve noticed that she was quite the normal girl. She dressed like most of the other high school girls and she looked relatively happy. Now really, what did her parents expect? If you come to Canada, expect to learn to adapt to the western ways, do not come here and expect society to change on behalf of your beliefs and culture. That’s not how it works. If you do not want your child to be affected by the western society…then stay where you are.

So now that I’ve brought up Facebook, it’s only right for me to bring up my mind spill on the issues there. Within 1-2 days after her death, groups were made, and the walls were filled with comments on Islam and religion. Aren’t those groups meant to be about her? Of course I love a good argument, but at least give the group another title. I’ve noticed that people who follow Islam are too closed minded. You can talk shit about Christianity, Hinduism, but arrest me now if I talk about Islam. The wall post were all about arguing for or against Islam and no one was willing to talk about how to prevent situations like this. One girl attempted too…but she was labelled as being cold hearted. Another surprise to me, her friends stated that they knew Asqa was scared of her father, yet none of them did anything to help her? Further more they sit down on facebook and make groups to talk bullshit and beg for attention? If you’re so heartbroken and sorry… then go spend time with her family, help plan the funeral. Don’t sit down on your computer and swear at people who you’ve never met before in your life!!!

By the way, Britney Spear’s 16 year old sister is pregnant.

Blah. Ok what’s next? SMALLVILLE!!!! Holly friggers! No new episodes until January 30th! I’m screwed!!! There are so many questions! Bizzaro is back, Milton Fine is making a return…and so is Green Arrow…along with Black Canary!! And Pete is coming back as well! Omgravy! This is too much to take in! Although, Tom Welling looks like he needs a break. I’ve noticed that the bottom of his eyes have gotten a tad bit puffier than they normally are (of course I’d notice something like that). I’ll try not to dwell too much on the break, I’ll think of it more as a resting period for Tom. The break is basically because of the writers strike. But honestly I’m not mad. The writers of Smallville are brilliant. They’ve created an adaptation to the legend of Superman. DC comics is now adding Chloe Sullivan to their character listing which is awesome. I really hope the network give the writers what they want.

The holidays. Yikes! I hate this time of year. HATE HATE HATE!!! It really blows. There’s so much fuss, and for what? This season is all about wasting money and traveling in the snow to see people who you’d rather not see. Sure I love getting gifts, always did and probable always will. But once you open them, they’re just there. I never know what to do with them. So I get confused…and I just ignore everything all together. I really don’t want to see my family this year. I love them to death, but I can’t stand to listen to them complain about Cindy’s choice to have a winter wedding, or Sheldon’s anti-socialness or what ever other crap they can think of. I’m tired. Really, really tired. Speaking of her wedding, I don’t think I can make it. With the weather and school, I just don’t know. I don’t have the heart to tell her though. She really wants me to be there, and I want to be there. I think I’ve been waiting for her wedding day longer than she has. Isn’t that pathetic? Also, this is month where VC’s mom died. I know she’s sad and depressed, but I don’t know how to talk to her. What the hell am I suppose to say? I can’t tell her that I know what she’s going through, because I don’t. I want to be of comfort to her, but I just don’t know how. I never know the right way to respond to her.

After Christmas passes, I’ll soon after have to return to York. That school gets more depressing every week. I’m behind in all of my courses, and I can’t be bothered to try and bring myself up to where I need to be. The atmosphere there is just bull shit. I hate the people there, I hate the protesting, I hate the courses, and I wish I would have gone to UTSC. I’m a moron. I have that stupid group project to work on, with that stupid group who I hate. Well jeez, I just hate everything don’t I?

*Him*, where to start? I try to ignore him, but I can’t, he’s too flipping bloody addictive. He’s like that last martini that you know you shouldn’t drink, but you drink it anyways. I know he’s no good for me, and I know I can do better. Yet I don’t care. It’s like I want to intoxicate myself with him despite the bad outcome.

Oh and I finally saw a Saw movie! I saw the last one, and I LOVED IT!!! It was so brilliant! The writer is a genius!!!! The plot was pure amazement and well thought out. I was captivated by it. I also sat down to watch 23 with Jim Carey (with Jim Carey in it? fuck my grammar went down the drain). It was a movie that I wanted to see when it came out, but I never made the time too watch it. It was also very good, although I have to say that the whole idea of everything adding up to 23 was very stupid. For Lia’s birthday we went to go see I am Legend. I really liked it! Even if they did kill a dog :(

I'm starving.