Why is he so gorgeous?

"Every world needs its heros. They inspire us to be better than we are. And they protect us from the darkness that's just around the corner."
--Annette O'Toole as Martha Kent

This is like, the BEST quote ever.

I caught it!

The David Beckham fever..

:)

Today, was a good day. I haven't had one of those in a while.

Hooraayyy!

The tattoo debate continues.

I know I want the Aquarius symbol. But I can't decide if I should keep it simple, or go far out with it. Blah. I was thinking of maybe a fairy pouring water with the Aquarius symbol in it. But hell, I don't even like faires. So no fairy. Just water pouring with the symbol inside? I also want my pentagram on my other ankle.

So what's stoping me? I'm terrified of the pain and I don't know who to trust to get it done. Maybe I should just stick to drawing on myself with crayola markers. I also want "Vindicated" somewhere on my body. Lol, I'm all talk. I want the bloody things yet I don't have the balls to get them done. So I guess my summer mission is to hunt down good tattoo parlours. I don't even know where to start. Bulllllshyyaaattttt.

Lol at me being a "water bearier" yet I can't swim to save my life. Also, Aquarius's element is air. You'd think it'd be water...since our whole identity is water based. But what ever. Arggg Im so tired. From doing what? Nothing. Today I volunteered to watch Nick and Aleena....at the same time. Why? Because I love my family. Hell I am NEVER having more than 2 kids. The house is a mess. And guess who gets to clean it? They're both sweet easy going kids...but give them some sugar and they become advocates of the devil himself. My goodness.

I've always wondered why I liked dark colours like grey and black, and last night after surfing the web I found out that Aquarius's colours are grey as well as shades of blue and our gem is black perl. Cool :)

Work went by slooowwww this week. Like it does every other week. But atleast I'm getting paid on Thursday. I'm soooo close to getting my mac book. Yay! I'm nervous about what will happen after this summer though. I to think about school and possibly finding another job. Wonderful. I think I'm a mess. The last few days seem to have gone by really slow. But to be honest, I was actually looking foreward to work this sunday. I had family over. It's not that I didn't wanna be around them.................... I just didn't wanna be around them. It seemed as though I was constantly being critisized or questioned about things that I really didn't wanna talk about. And then they got on my cousin ass because they caught him smoking. So I was pretty much petrified about them finding out about myself. Therefore, I missed my sunday night smoke. Great. I like smoking by myself in the dark on a Sunday night. Yes. Im crazy. But I couldn't do so since they were "waiting up for me". Not to make sure that I made it home alive, but to ask me more questions. My aunt said that from all the years she knew me, this is most that I've ever talked to her. Well hell. I've never had anything to say to her. I don't know either. But with this job, everyone is so "proud of me". Does this mean they were dissappointed in me to begin with?

Odd.

Shall I Compare Thee To A Summers Day?

Shall I compare thee to a summersday?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a day: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimm'd:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor loose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breath or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

-William Shakespeare

You and I could belong to each other.

Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is that you do to me? I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am like a kid out of school, holding hands with a god, I'm a fool. Will you look at me? Quivering like a little girl, shivering. You can see right through me. Can you read my mind? Can you picture the things that I am thinking of? Wondering why you are all the wonderful things you are. You can fly! You belong in the sky! You and I could belong to each other. If you need a friend, I'm the one to fly to. If you need to be loved, here I am. Read my mind.

-Lois Lane (Superman, 1978)

I so need a social life. I miss my green, bastard web cam. So what if I don't use it? I still miss it. And yet again, I'm going to have to sit here and bitch about how much I hate my privacy being invaded. I hate the stupid job, ever since I started it my mom's been sticking her nose into my life and dragging her drag queen sister in it too. I want to drown myself senseless in Smallville and Tom Welling. I think I'm going to put on my dvd set and watch it until my eyes pop out of my head. Hopefully that will happen so I won't have to go into work. Heh. Maybe I am being selfish and ungrateful, but I really don't care. My sympathy for everyone is dead.

From this job I've learned that

1) Reality is a Whore.

and

2) My family and friends have no faith in me, they question my ability to make something of myself, and see me as having no potential to make it further than sitting behind a phone and a computer to assist old people with paying their bills.

So why is it that I care about what these assholes think? I don't know. I don't know alot of things. I don't know why I even bother to spill my guts to people, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I don't know why I let people try and con their way into taking control of my life. Just because I don't know what I want that doesn't mean that I want someone else to decide my future for me.

I had it all planned out. I knew what I wanted, I knew how to get it. But then I let her talk me out of it. What was the result of that? I'm stuck in a school that I hate, a job that I hate, I'm being surrounded by people I hate. I have close to no tolerance left for anything anymore.

People just seem to want to keep pushing me and pushing me until I'm close to my breaking point. The only good thing about school and work, is that I get to get away from my family. It seems like the more my mom tries to know what goes on in my life, she's just really pushing me away. If she wants to know something, she could just ask. I'd tell her. Snooping around in my personal things and conning me into telling her stuff... is SO not doing her any good. And because of this, I'm only going to resent her more.

Now I understand why those trashy girls run away from home and sleep with random truckers.

So I've decided to get the tattoo done. Now I just need to find a good place. I'm getting the Aquarius symbol on my right ankle. My stupidity that leads me to believe in stars have gotten the best of me. But it's not like my sign will change. Sadly.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go back in time to the days where I was young and happy and my only concern was what time the Power Rangers would be on. But then if I could go back in time, I'd live through all this hell again. So not worth it. I need out. Not another stupid, worthless family vacation. I need to get away by myself. No family, no friends. No nothing. Just me.

:(

This is going to be a long, miserable summer. I hate my job. =)