"I believe everything happens for a reason! People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes, good things fall apart, so better things can fall together"
-Marilyn Monroe
Reposted quote? I'm not sure, but I'm not in the mood to care =)
Jesus Christ. I fell in love with my driving instructor. I don't get it, was I this in love with him when I did the in class shit? WAS I?? Ugh no, I don't think so. I wasn't THIS crazy. I had a small simple crush, but hell, after my first lesson with him, he was ALL that I thought about. So now, I want to key the bastards car. I mean, does he get a kick out of having girls fall for him then blowing them off? Does he enjoy giving false hopes? I think he does! I should have known better. When I read his facebook profile and it said that he was in a relationship, but under religious belief it said "I'm single", I should have taken that as a red code. It was the total "OH NO!! BACK AWAY!!!" alarm, just screaming to me, but I failed to listen and jumped right into the fire. I could have done lesson with his mom, and quite possibly passed my G, but instead I chose to go with the "real loser" (words chosen by my mother after he missed out first lesson the first time around). Not only did I screw up that first time, but I went straight back into the second time.
Now here's what grinds my gear. Tuesday night, lets give the exact date. Tuesday, October 28th, 2008 between 8 and 9pm. I would have honestly considered that one of the best--actually, no, THE best night of my life. I felt like...me. We talked we shared things, and he made me feel all warm and bubbly despite it being fucking cold outside. But I don't think I felt like me, because when I'm with him, I try to be everything but me. Maybe that night I was more like myself, but not completely. Hell, I don't know. Anyways, Prince charming is a high-school drop out, who will most likely be doing that same job for the rest of his life. Unless by chance he turns into a star soccer player, which I highly doubt, but for the sake of being proven wrong, I won't totally dismiss yet. I don't understand how that night could have been so....touching and so connected that he could totally forget our lesson the next day...and the one the day after that... and then not even bother to call me for my test. Jerk? Yes. Jerk.
Then me being the stupid loser that I am, decides to stalk him. No, not my brightest moment, but it's what I do. I waited out there for TWO HOURS. Bored out of my mind, just waiting. Anyways when he finally SAW me, he drove right past me. Nice. Reallyyyyy nice. The thing is, how can I be mad at him when I set myself up for that? He's had his own life before me, he clearly has one after me. Hundreds of girls probably walked in and out of that driving school with the same crush that I've had. Maybe not as bad, but he's seen those puppy eyes before. In my head I made him out to be the one, which he isn't.
To make matters worse, I'm still sitting here imagining what my life could be like with him in it. I imagine it as if he's the perfect guy I picture in my head.
